The World's Premier

Humanitarian Web Resource

Return to List of Poems by T. S. Eliot - by Title
Return to List of Poems by T. S. Eliot - by Extract

“He can pick any card from a pack,
He is equally cunning with dice;
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice.”

(T.S. Eliot)

---

Mr. Mistoffelees

T. S. Eliot, 1939

 

You ought to know Mr. Mistoffelees!
The Original Conjuring Cat -
(There can be no doubt about that).
Please listen to me and don't scoff. All his
Inventions are off his own bat.
There's no such Cat in the metropolis;
He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions.
   At prestidigitation
      And at legerdemain
   He'll defy examination
      And deceive you again.
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn.
   Presto!
      Away we go!
         And we all say: OH!
            Well I never!
            Was there ever
            A Cat so clever
               As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

He is quiet and small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail;
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail.
He can pick any card from a pack,
He is equally cunning with dice;
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice.
   He can play any trick with a cork
      Or a spoon and a bit of fish-paste;
   If you look for a knife or a fork
      And you think it is merely misplaced -
You have seen it one moment, and then it is gawn!
But you'll find it next week lying out on the lawn.
   And we all say: OH!
      Well I never!
      Was there ever
      A Cat so clever
         As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

His manner is vague and aloof,
You would think there was nobody shyer -
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire.
and he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof -
(At least we all heard somebody who purred)
Which is incontestable proof
   Of his singular magical powers:
      And I have known the family to call
   Him in from the garden for hours,
      While he was asleep in the hall.
And not long ago this phenomenal Cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
   And we all said: OH!
      Well I never!
      Did you ever
      Know a Cat so clever
         As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

Back to top

Return to List of Poems by T. S. Eliot - by Title
Return to List of Poems by T. S. Eliot - by Extract

---

Sister Sites Maintained as Educational Resources by the Same Authors:

Link to: FCT World - Resources on the Unique & Powerful System of Medicine called Field Control Therapy

Link to: Key Toxins - Exclusive Articles, Info & Interviews about Toxicity, the World's Most Pressing Issue

Link to: Tibetan Pulsing World - Resources on the Transformative System of Yoga & Meditation called Tibetan Pulsing

Link to: Deep Energy Healing - Resources on Different Therapies, the Nature of Healing and the Future of Medicine

---

© Copyright 2007 Simon Rees, Kevin Eakins and SYY Integrated Health Systems, Ltd.

Disclaimer: The information at this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. The content of this website comprises only the observations and opinions of the authors and contributors: it does not constitute medical advice to readers.